Life begs for us to live it, and we don’t always answer wholeheartedly, or we get too caught up in the things that don’t matter. And then it’s always fleeting, leaving us wanting more of it. The thought of the passing minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years….crushes me. Where has the time gone?
I can’t stop thinking about this. How fast time moves and how quickly life rolls by. How it’s beautiful and painful all at once…the truest definition of bittersweet.
It’s a word that holds so much punch, that just the mention of it can send everyone involved in to a panic.
I don’t know what it’s like to get a diagnosis and hear the word cancer. I don’t know how I would handle it. But I do know what it’s like to get the news that someone I’ve loved my whole life has been diagnosed.
Cancer just barged right in to our lives, and I hate it. I was numb the first few days. Don’t get me wrong, I felt an array of emotions: shock, fear, sadness, anger, but I also felt removed in some way, like it wasn’t really my life or my reality. How could just the other day it not even be a thought? And then suddenly it’s there, gnashing its teeth and causing torment. It was lurking in the shadows, and we were all unaware. It’s only been two weeks since we found out, and I am coming to terms with the fact that all of our lives have changed. The road ahead will be a long one.
It’s always in the back of my mind. No matter what I’m doing there’s always that “…oh yeah, cancer” moment where it shoves it’s way back into the forefront of my thoughts.
Maybe the first step is not giving the word itself so much power. I just recently read this great book called, “There’s No Place like Hope” by Vickie Girard. She began the book by talking about how cancer is one of the words in the English language that we see in all CAPS. I want to turn the CAPS lock button off. I want to make it so tiny. I want to backspace it. I want to delete it.
I’ll wrap up with another awesome quote by Vickie Girard:
"Grasp a new perception of this disease by looking at what it is not; what it has not. Cancer does not have a brain, or a heart, or a spirit. It doesn’t have the ability to plan or be cunning. It doesn’t have a heart that causes it to fight, or a spirit that gives it the reason to. It is you who has the brain, the ability to strategize. It is you who has the ability to plan it’s demise. And it is you who has the heart and soul to bring to this fight."
I believe in my dad! I believe in the power of the human spirit, love and hope. We will get through this.